Changing my path by 1 degree...

I have had to change my path by 1 degree many times.  My path to parenthood, my path to health, my path to college, my path to becoming a wife. Now, however, I am having to change my path yet again.  By 1 degree.

I have mentioned people that have been a blessing to my journey many times before but my journey as of late has given me another group of people that seek after God and have opened their hearts to our family.  Jackie, Dave, Andy, Heather, Eric, Jillian, Ryan, and last but definitely not least Jenni have been placed in our life at just the correct moment to open my eyes to see the awesome things that God has in store for my life.  They have been an amazing support, a lot of fun, but most of all have shown love to the least of these.  This group has pulled us under their wing and pulled us in tighter when the path became rockier than we hoped. Encouraged me as my path needed to change by 1 degree.

What is the 1 degree? I am changing my degree through Augustana College and am majoring in Interdepartmental studies with an emphasis on Education for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, Sign Language Interpreting, and Religion. I can still become certified through NIC but I will do it a little differently than other people. I will do it while still fulfilling my role as a wife and mother.  I am excited for what God has in store for me and my family!

Sometimes the path just needs to change by 1 degree.

From a Nightmare to a Dream Come True...

Last year, right before the Jeremy Camp concert was set to start out at Lifelight, I started bleeding.  The bathrooms were at least 50 people thick and our car was in the middle of a corn field and 150,000 people were piling onto the festival grounds. I told my husband, "I do not think this baby is going to make it.." A young man from KLOVE radio station grabbed up all of our belongings and threw them in the trunk of the car.  My husband drove and prayed and cried out to the Lord the ENTIRE way into town (which took 45 minutes with the traffic jam pouring into the concert).  Jeremy camp was set to start at 9:00pm and we were hooked up to the ultrasound machine at 9:01 and we met our baby for the very first time.  The baby was healthy with a heartbeat of 146bpm!

Not gonna lie, the sound of this little ones heartbeat was the best concert I have ever been to or will ever attend in the future.

Who would have known Kamiyah would be rocking out to the same song that ran on this blog the whole time I was struggling with infertility?!? God did, and he delights in the joy that fills our hearts every time we look at her.

Out of the mouths of babes...

As most of you know, I have some really great friends with some pretty awesome kids and lately, with the arrival of Kamiyah, some pretty adorable things have been said (and sung) to and about her.

A few weeks ago, my buddy Byron said, "Kee-my-uh has a purple paci..... and two feet!" And then just the other day, after we went swimming he sang "Kamiyah my lord" to the tune of Kumbiyah over and over and over. This kid just cracks me up :D

Then yesterday Isaac decided to put his whole family of dolls in their toy car and he said that his mom, his dad, his sister, him AND Kamiyah were all in the car and ready to go.. Check out the picture below. Do you see Kamiyah sitting next to her best friend Karrin? I could not stop laughing :P

Whatever happened to Steve and I?!?

You Are My I Love You.... As Read to Kamiyah.

I love reading to Kamiyah and this was the first book I read to her from my collection from when I was a kid... I hope you enjoy it as much as Kamiyah did...

I am your parent 
      you are my child
I am your quiet place, 
      you are my wild
I am your calm face, 
      you are my giggle
I am your wait, 
      you are my wiggle
I am your audience, 
      you are my clown
I am your London Bridge, 
      you are my falling down
I am your Carrot Sticks, 
      you are my licorice
I am your dandelion, 
      you are my first wish
I am your water wings, 
      you are my deep
I am your open arms, 
      you are my running leap
I am your way home, 
      you are my new path
I am your dry towel, 
      you are my wet bath
I am your dinner 
      you are my chocolate cake
I am your bedtime, 
      you are my wide awake
I am your finish line, 
      you are my race
I am your praying hands, 
      you are my saving grace
I am your favourite book, 
      you are my new lines
I am your nightlight, 
      you are my sunshine
I am your lullaby, 
      you are my peek-a-boo
I am your kiss goodnight, 
      you are my I love you

~Maryann K Cusimano

News from the Griddle...

Kamiyah is getting to be quite the little lady! She is scheduled for surgery to fix her breathing issues and also to repair her eyelid. We will be traveling to Minnesota in July to get her eye taken care of.

On a sad note, our Poodle (Lily) finished her job here on earth and is now gone to take care of Bakannah and Isaiah.  She waited until we got on our feet with Kamiyah and when she realized we had a handle on it she went to lick our other children.  The 'one lick' rule no longer applies to her and she has steak for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and never gets sick.  We will see her again, just not today.

The Two Tunes of a Baby Girl...

We spent years in the waiting room of an infertility clinic and often we would hear over the intercom a song that symbolized the birth of a baby.. Now, if you dare, imagine how heart wrenching this was to a couple who had no hopes for a child of their own.  Steve and I always imagined that there must be a big red button in the delivery room and we always wanted to hit that button when it was our turn for a blessing.  Well, needless to say our turn came on the 18th of April at 2:47am.. My labor was short and my delivery was drug free.  Just how we had always imagined. When we arrived at the post partum floor I said to my mom, "did they play the song?" the nurses said, "what song?" I said "the new baby song?!?" Needless to say, I told them the above story and they played the song twice. I waited 8 years for that song and my special little girl got it twice for good measure.

We had NO CLUE how truly beautiful our baby would be and how she would change our lives for the better.  Kamiyah Dawn is more than we could have ever asked for.

Such a BIG miracle in such a little girl...

Just Waiting...

The last nine months has flown by so fast that it seems like yesterday I found out I was pregnant with a baby that was said to never be possible.  We continued through the pregnancy with quite a few scares, a bunch of positives, and a few moments of sheer disbelief.  Is this little girl really ours or are we going to wake up soon and realize it was just a dream?!?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, she really is ours and we have woken up quite a few times to prove it. Between her kidney, size, my uterine repair, and her umbilical cord issues the doctor said we would be lucky to get to 35 weeks.  Yet here we sit at 39 weeks and 3 days waiting to meet her.  I know her name, I have a gut wrenching feeling she looks like her papa, and I realize she probably has my attitude (eeep) but yet I still want to see what color her eyes are. How soft her hair is, is it really really curly or is it straight and will change later?  I wanna hear what her voice sounds like, smell her baby toes, and kiss her chunky cheeks.  Am I asking too much again?

The nursery is finished, her car seat is in place, our bags for the hospital are packed, her diaper bag is sitting by the door ready to go, our parrot is at her birdie friends house and my mom and doula are on call waiting to welcome this little lady into the world. For some reason, however, our poodle thinks she is getting replaced, not true, but she is very worried just the same.

We are ready! My body is done being a human incubator and we are simply just waiting...

Come on Baby Pancake, come out and play with your friends/family Karrin and Liam, they have come to the conclusion that it is not so bad out here...

Impossibility..

You know as I sit here and look back at the last nine months it has been nothing short of miraculous and amazing.  From the day we found out about this little girl we call Pancake our world has been changed for the better by the moment.

While I was struggling with infertility there were 4 women who were there for me through the hardest of decisions and have been there through the greatest of moments. I would like to give a BIG thanks to my BZ ladies Jessie, Lorie, Eileen, and Tami... Today, however I was visited by Jessie and her absolutley gorgeous family.  I was given the gift of not only their presence but a book that contained a quote that pretty much wraps up the greatness of this little girl.

"When God is about to do something great, He starts with a difficulty. When He is about to do something truly magnificent, He starts with an impossibility."
                                                                                ~Armin Gesswein

To think, the doctors told us Pancake was an impossibility. Yet, we find out she is nothing short of magnificent.

National Pancake Day...

Well, needless to say, today was awesome.  Baby Pancake had an NST and she slept through the whole thing but she did fine just the same.  We joined some friends for dinner and had some pretty amazing laughs.  As I laid in bed I thought back to all of the years that I had dreamt we would have a baby and what it would feel like to have her in my tummy.  As much as I want my body back I will miss getting to keep her for myself.  I will miss walking around Hobby Lobby aimlessly talking to her and looking like I am talking to myself.  I will miss pushing her baby butt cheeks out of my ribs so I can sit through class and breathe at the same time. I will also miss having an excuse to eat weird things and not get any gruff about it.

Pancake slept most of today away.  She did, however, wake up to let us know that even though she was busy growing, THIS day was still hers.

Take a Moment to Stop and Lick the Beaters...

Whenever I go to make a pineapple upside-down cake one living being in my house becomes the most excited.  Steve is happy because he knows the smell of the cake will  make our home smell awesome. Lily is tickled because she hopes we will accidentally drop crumbs. I enjoy this particular cake because it reminds me of being a kid. Mango, however, surpasses all of us. She makes this certain clucking noise and dances on the counter for 4 reasons: 1) she knows she will get to taste the pineapple juice when all the pineapples have been used  2) she predicts when the cherries are gone she will get a swallow of that juice  3) she understands that she gets to sit on my shoulder and imitate the noise coming from the mixer  4) when all the ingredients have been well blended and the cake is in the oven she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she gets to lick the beaters...

The happy noises that a bird makes should remind the rest of us to back up, chill out, and enjoy the small things in life... even if the small things are taking a moment to stop and lick the beaters.

A Baby Shower and I am going to miss her...

My baby shower was quite a blessing.  Many many people came out and showed their support and it was a really good time.  Baby Pancake is a lucky lady and the funny thing is she has no clue.

We went to the doctor and she is almost 3lbs!! Pretty soon she will surpass the Lily dog in weight... poor poodle pants.

I have been crying a lot lately because I am going to miss feeling her wiggle and kick after I have her.  I am, however, excited to get my body back and get back to Zumba.

Steve and I have been working with her room and have gotten everything in its proper place.. it is amazing that she is a reality and will be here before we know it!

An update on Baby Pancake...

This little lady has quite the personality! If the belly growing in front of me is not proof enough, her attitude surely shows that she is mine.. :)

I have been watched very closely by a high risk perinatologist and wiggle pants evidently wears a size XXS.  She is not growing like the other babies and is falling behind quickly.  If she does not make progress, they are threatening to deliver her early and this is scaring us a lot because we want her to have the best start she possibly can.

On a lighter note, we have been going to "working out for two classes" and "aqua zumba" and both are helping me keep up my energy levels and reduce quite a few of the other pregnancy symptoms people seem to suffer from.

We are preparing for the baby shower and are super super excited. I have suffered through many baby showers for friends and family members knowing that our kids were not alive and that our prospects for future children was bleak.  I brought gifts, cried in the baby aisles at the store, cried internally and sometimes externally once arriving to the party.  I will probably cry at our as well but not in sadness but rather tears of joy and disbelief that it is finally our turn for a little one.

We have been plugging away at the nursery and my friend Katie and I painted the letters for her room! However we will not be hanging them until she is born because we do not want any accidents of what her name is to leak into the public.

Funny how the letters "AKA" are in the name Pancake... Perhaps she will have to keep the name?