Just Making Pancakes

Just Making Pancakes

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Skin, comments, and friends that have disappeared...

I do not wear my tank tops to ZUMBA because of my embarrassment about my arms and the skin (from losing so much weight).  The last few weeks I have gotten up enough courage to wear my tank tops and Wednesday these chicks behind me said to each other, "look at her arms.." My heart sunk.  I thought, here I am mustering up the courage to NOT be hot in my favorite activity and they say something. Just as I expected.

One of my friends that I have met through my weight loss journey will no longer talk to me because she fell off the beaten path.  I feel bad, not because she has decided to not be friends with me anymore, but because I hope I am not giving people the vibe that, "if you are overweight, not eating healthy, and not working out, that you cannot be friends with me" and "I do not care about you." None of the above is true, at all.  I may not go to McDonalds or make unhealthy food choices or skip Zumba class, but that does not mean we cannot be friends... It just means I have changed my life style.  I will go to Mcdonalds or whatever I just will not eat.  I am an easy person to get along with and hang out with and a great friend (at least the last time I checked). 


Do not hate me because my body has changed, my heart and mind are still the same... That is what counts, right?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Practice...

I go through my daily life and every activity I partake in I always feel like I am practicing.  I go to Zumba and am always trying to be as good as the instructor.  I go to school and I am practicing to become a good interpreter.  I babysit my friends children and I am practicing to become a mother.  I come home and I am practicing to become a good wife.  I eat vegetables and fruit and lean meats and I am practicing to become thin.  I join a softball team and I can barely get the ball back to the pitcher let alone hit the ball with a bat.  I am simply just practicing.

I know the old saying says, "practice makes perfect."  This quote, however, to me is not motivational.  Why, you ask?  Because I feel like I am not good at anything.  I feel like everything I do has to be improved.  It feels like I am not good enough, thin enough, efficient enough, or even motherly enough.

If it were not for practice I would never get to feel accomplished when I do something correct or maybe I would feel accomplished but I would not celebrate nearly enough. You know the do-the- snoopy-dance-in-the-middle-of-class kind of feeling...

I just want to become an expert at one thing...something that people will say, "wow, your really good at that."

Perhaps I will have to practice how to take compliments, so when THAT day comes, I will be prepared.