THE Best Buy...

I was looking at the paper after Black Friday shopping and realized how many people would wait in line for 50% off an item. What about standing outside the church on Sunday morning waiting to get in for the gift God has for us? Everyone wants earthly things but what about Godly things? Church is free, Christ's gift of eternity has already been paid for. I think it is a shame. I will stand in line for nothing on this earth. If, however, Jesus was in Best Buy, count me in. I will pitch a tent and freeze my butt off.

I find comfort in knowing that my lord is seated at the right hand of the father and my babies are in the palm of his hand.

The Best Buy is not on the tag in a store but right in the pews of God's church.

Giving Thanks...

The day started off really rough because my husband left for work and twenty minutes later I got my period and knew the fertility drugs failed. This time, however, I was all alone on thanksgiving and not feeling like there was anything to be thankful for..

I then went and hung out with my mom for a little while, then after that proceeded to my dad's side of the family for dinner. I was looking at the ads and my dad came and laid next to me on the floor as I was talking to my cousin about what are next plan of attack was going to be pertaining to the fertility treatments and what not. My dad was quietly flipping through the ads while I was going into tears about how badly I want to give my wonderful husband children and how guilty I feel because we cannot afford to do IVF. I then noticed my father take off his glasses and he laid them on the ads. I did not think much of it at that point and kept on talking to Ian and weeping, then I noticed my dad wipe his eyes. MY dad was CRYING. I have never once in my life seen him care about me soo much to the point of tears. My dad knew nothing about how bad we have been struggling. He looked up and said (through blood shot eyes), "I never thought much of Steve until the day he was standing on that alter and it took all that man had to hold himself together while crying because he loved YOU sooooo much. I bet if Steve does not get children, he is just content in having YOU as a wife." he then proceeded to talk about how bad he felt that we are going through this and he GRABBED my hand and truly cared. I got random hugs from my dad the rest of the party and it was hard to leave because I have never experienced this from the man who had NOTHING to do with me while growing up and the only reason he walked me down the aisle was because my grandfather's knees are bad and my grandma made me ask him to.

I then came home and cooked a dinner for my mom (who I never have celebrated thanksgiving with because I was always with the other family). Which is ironic because she has been there for me all along. I made every thing that goes with a thanksgiving dinner, plus a REAL pumpkin pie. I baked the pumpkin myself. It was amazing!

Things I am thankful for:
1. God
2. My husband
3. My parents and grandparents
4. Bakannah and Isaiah
5. Great friends
6. size 4 jeans
7. Lily and Mango
8. Dawn dish soap and a dishwasher
9. pumpkin pie
10. and last but not least..............ZUMBA and ZUMBA pants!

The Hospital..

I have been sick and then all of the sudden on Monday I was in german class and completely lost my cookies. I went home thinking it was a mixture of my cold and the ulcers and then by the evening I was violently ill. Long story short I ended up in the hospital.

While I was downstairs waiting for an MRI, I heard an old man coughing and I looked around and there he was. He was so frail and thin and looked like this day was going to be one of his last. I could not help to think that everyone has a story and his story is ending with him all alone and gasping for air. I told my nurse about him and she said, "you know what is really sad? Most people do not have anyone visit with them while they are in the hospital and some die without anyone there except us."

As I sit here and type this blog my husband is sleeping upright in a very uncomfortable chair. For the last 2 days, I have not once been alone. My mother never left my side while I was in the emergency room and definitely did not leave until letting me know she loved me. Boy am I blessed to not have to be the old man gasping for his last breath with no one holding my hand.

My Birthday...

My husband and I attended the weekend to remember and it has been fantastic thus far.. My husband and I are no longer going to be volunteers but we are moving up to being on the conference team.. we are sooooo thrilled!! To impact marriages with the love of Christ is going to be amazing..

Guess what the fertility God's gave me for my birthday?!? yeah you are right, the drugs worked and I am ovulating right on my birthday and the mittleschmerz has been killing me on both sides..hopefully this is it for us...

Well I am going to go spend some time with my dear sweet husband...

Can it really get any better than this?!?

Down 3 and up 0...

Sorry it has been awhile but Augustana seems to ruin my life in more than one way...

I have done two rounds of fertility drugs with no success so we decided to take a break for a month. Well, my cycle dropped to 14 days and the reproductive endocrinologist said we either do more fertility drugs or go on birth control. That was extremely devastating considering what my husband and I have gone through to have a child. I took the drugs this month and now we are just waiting to see if they did their job.

I have gotten down to 128 lbs and the doctor says you have to minus ten pounds for excess skin so that would make me 118.. ummm a little scary. Oh well, I love ZUMBA and am doing the best I can to eat enough, so i guess that is what counts. Augustana has given me ulcers from all of the stress and they think that may contributing to my continual loss of weight...

Guess what today is??? The baby we lost in February would be due today... dang it all. We are now down three kids and up zero.

It also was my momma's birthday and so I had fun making her a funny gift.. the best part was hearing her laugh soooo hard.. laughter is the best medication.

I have made it my new goal to update this more often and to keep people informed of my crazy life.. Btw you should check out my new tune on the bottom of the screen... Like Steve said, in response to this song, "I think it pretty much says it all."

And always remember, the only thing worse than a bad day is the music not being loud enough to drown it out..