Just Making Pancakes

Just Making Pancakes

Friday, March 24, 2017

Thanks little old house.

I got to thinking the other day... I know... brace yourself.

Divorce and remarriage is remarkably similar to selling an old house and buying a new one.

When you approached the old house it looked like it had been through alot. It also seemed as though it was functional, full of potential, and the damage that existed was repairable. Not permanent.

Perhaps the damage could be costly and require quite a bit of time but in the end it could be worth it.

So you get busy and you start working on projects to better the situation. You throw up a new door, you repaint a few rooms, you have massive dumpsters hauled out to get rid of the years that have collected in the unused spaces.

You may run into a hornets nest. You might realize the one dumpster wasn't enough. Getting so exhausted and deciding to just sell the house as is and let come what may might also become a possibility because you know you are in over your head.

The one thing you do know, for sure, is that no matter what happens you will leave this house better than you found it. The adventure of trying would be worth the effort and lessons could be learned along the way.

Then someone wants to buy the house. They see the charm that it possesses and thinks it is worth the battle.

All of the sudden the repairs that you did not want to deal with have to be dealt with in order to meet the requirements of the buyer's mortgage.

By now you are committed. You have even signed the contracts and gathered up moving boxes.

All of the things that happened to the house in the past come back because sweeping the problems under the rug no longer works when the rug is removed from the picture. The house needs more paint, a hand rail, a chimney removed, steps repaired, ceilings scraped, drywall replaced, cracks filled, holes sealed with rubber patches, septic systems pumped, etc...

But here is the kicker. You can't move on until you do it. The hard work needs to be completed before you can enjoy what lies ahead.

You cry, you pray, you call those in your immediate circle, you negotiate with contractors, you establish your limits, then you start knocking away one issue at a time.

Then and only then will you realize how deeply you love the person you came upon this little old house for.

The house was not the problem. What happened to the person in that house is what has to be overcome and then it sinks in.... how you feel is nothing in comparison to what he must be going through. He was abandoned in this sinking ship and he is well aware that this should not be your problem and he is deeply saddened that it is.

I love him enough to:

- paint in the cold
- spend hours in the old basement
- wade through inches of water at 3am
- support the local hardware store single handedly
- read pages upon pages of home repair instructions
- get high off of rustoleum and paint the door knob and forget how it happened
- spend entire seasons plotting and fixing and throwing things away
- foot the bill when finances get stretched thin

He loves me enough to:

- do the entire above list
- remain optimistic
- take my calls of sheer panic
- shelter our kids from the stress
- pray from his heart when we can't take anymore



And to be quite frank... I would do it all over again if it meant I would get to spend the rest of my life by his side.

Once this storm is over there will be a new adventure and I am willing to bet that we will use these lessons from the old house to weather whatever comes our way. Together.

Thanks little old house. Enjoy your new owner. I have a feeling she will look back and thank you too.

~Breteni



Could it really get any better than this? I am excited to find out. <3 p="">